I lay here alone,
wishing I was someone else,
but knowing that I must
be happy with who God made me to be.
Ever have one of these moments?
Haha yeah, that above is how much I suck at writing poetry. We'll leave that to Janae and Kat and them.
Ah well.
So you know how people always say "Life's too short to have regrets"?
Well, they're right.
Guys, never not do something because you're scared of being judged. Yeah, I say all the time that "I don't care what people think", etc, but seriously? Who believes that? Most of us act that way but somehow, deep down inside, every bad thing we've ever heard said about ourselves sticks with us. And we remember it. ALL OF IT.
I remember in (correct me if I'm wrong, because this is a memory I tried hard to forget.) 7th grade, when I earned the title of "Slut." I thought my world was ending.
Now I'm at a huge public school, and I've heard it all. Slut, whore, ugly bitch, you name it. But the funny thing is, it hurt more coming from people I don't know.
Why?
Because they don't know who I really am.
When Chris called me a slut, he was pissed, and he probably still hates me, but that's his loss now. I've long since moved on from his sorry little big-foreheaded self and forgotten about him and his petty little insults.
When those blondes in the bathroom called me that, it cut deep. If someone's first impression of me is "ugly bitch," then clearly, one of us is doing something wrong.
And I certainly, desperately, hope it's not me.
That's all for tonight. I love you guys.
PS: Next post will be more cheery. Sorry bout that.
PSS: On the upside, things are looking up for the whole Ty vs. Sam thing. Up for me, at least. Perhaps not the rest of ya'll. ;)
Much love.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
So...
So what do ya'll think would happen if I started posting my stories?
That's basically all I had to say, so I'm out.
Deuces.
That's basically all I had to say, so I'm out.
Deuces.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Pictures.
See, I told you guys the next post would be more interesting.
Sometimes I find these pictures and I'm like, "THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE THIS."
So here are some of my favorites.
Sometimes I find these pictures and I'm like, "THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE THIS."
So here are some of my favorites.
If I was the guy, I would totally do that.
Heck, when I get a jacket like that, I WILL do that.
Poor guy.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I. Am. Assassin.
Welp, you heard it guys, I am Assassin.
No seriously.
I joined this Drum-Line/Dance competition group. I'm one of 10 dancers, (and between us, I'm seriously one of the better ones. Not being stuck up, scout's honor.) amongst 14 drummers. [4 Quads, 5 Snares, and 4 Basses.]
It's super super fun, sorta like that family-bonding thing we get during Musical season at CPLS. :)
Our first practice was today, and it was 12 hours long. We got 2 1-hour breaks for lunch and dinner, and aside from that, we basically practiced all day.
However, everyone knows that no Oi-post is complete without reference to some injury.. My right hand (thumb bone) is incredibly swollen because of a section of the choreography we do, and it hurts a lot.. My thighs are sore from counting rhythms, and my feet hurt from being barefoot most of the day. That's that.
Oh yeah, the Assassin part. My drumline nickname is Assassin, as in the assassin girl from the movie Hanna.
It went like this:
Mr O: What's your name, Dancer #3?
Me: Hannah.
Mr O: Like the assassin? Cool. You're our assassin, k?
Me: Awesome.
And that was that.
Stay sexy, guys. I love you all.
Oh PS: I'll post about something cool next time, promise.
No seriously.
I joined this Drum-Line/Dance competition group. I'm one of 10 dancers, (and between us, I'm seriously one of the better ones. Not being stuck up, scout's honor.) amongst 14 drummers. [4 Quads, 5 Snares, and 4 Basses.]
It's super super fun, sorta like that family-bonding thing we get during Musical season at CPLS. :)
Our first practice was today, and it was 12 hours long. We got 2 1-hour breaks for lunch and dinner, and aside from that, we basically practiced all day.
However, everyone knows that no Oi-post is complete without reference to some injury.. My right hand (thumb bone) is incredibly swollen because of a section of the choreography we do, and it hurts a lot.. My thighs are sore from counting rhythms, and my feet hurt from being barefoot most of the day. That's that.
Oh yeah, the Assassin part. My drumline nickname is Assassin, as in the assassin girl from the movie Hanna.
It went like this:
Mr O: What's your name, Dancer #3?
Me: Hannah.
Mr O: Like the assassin? Cool. You're our assassin, k?
Me: Awesome.
And that was that.
Stay sexy, guys. I love you all.
Oh PS: I'll post about something cool next time, promise.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Returned Shout Out
Katie,
I know a lot has changed, and I'm fairly sure most of it was my fault.
Granted, I'm not gonna be as good with words in this post as you were in your Shoutout, but I'll do my best.
Basically, I agree with everything you said. Say. Whatever. I was a bitch, but that's us, remember?
If you really do remember, I love you forever.
Also, I apologize for the Padre trip, but honestly? Yeah, our friendship did hit a rocky road there, but we made it through. Yeah, things went downhill after that, but we sorta, kinda patched things up.
For the record, I really hate the term 'former best friend.' We were best friends, we are best friends, and we will be best friends, because that's just who we are.
We're strong, crazy, awesome girls, because that's how God made us.
We're ridiculous, romantic, idiotic girls, because that's what we are.
We're best friends, because that's who we are.
I accept full blame for whatever happened then and will happen in the future and is happening now, and I sincerely apologize for everything I put you through, and I hope you can forgive me.
I still love you, Sweene-Weene.
(Gaw, this sounds like a break-up post. Ah well.)
And if you love me too, let me know.
Very rarely does a day go by when I don't think about you, and I wouldn't make this crap up.
All my love and whatnot,
Oi
PS: We are cheesy. Get over it.
PSS: I really hate the term former best friend. Just a reminder.
I know a lot has changed, and I'm fairly sure most of it was my fault.
Granted, I'm not gonna be as good with words in this post as you were in your Shoutout, but I'll do my best.
Basically, I agree with everything you said. Say. Whatever. I was a bitch, but that's us, remember?
If you really do remember, I love you forever.
Also, I apologize for the Padre trip, but honestly? Yeah, our friendship did hit a rocky road there, but we made it through. Yeah, things went downhill after that, but we sorta, kinda patched things up.
For the record, I really hate the term 'former best friend.' We were best friends, we are best friends, and we will be best friends, because that's just who we are.
We're strong, crazy, awesome girls, because that's how God made us.
We're ridiculous, romantic, idiotic girls, because that's what we are.
We're best friends, because that's who we are.
I accept full blame for whatever happened then and will happen in the future and is happening now, and I sincerely apologize for everything I put you through, and I hope you can forgive me.
I still love you, Sweene-Weene.
(Gaw, this sounds like a break-up post. Ah well.)
And if you love me too, let me know.
Very rarely does a day go by when I don't think about you, and I wouldn't make this crap up.
All my love and whatnot,
Oi
PS: We are cheesy. Get over it.
PSS: I really hate the term former best friend. Just a reminder.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Stealing or borrowing?
To ****, I'm stealing your idea of writing letters.
I'm also censoring your name to protect your identity, because I know that if I didn't, your secret identity would be given away and the FBI would be onto you like white on rice. ;)
Now then.
So I've been thinking about this whole letter thing, and I bet those of you who know me (which is all of you, except the Russians and what-not. (: ) would be able to figure out right off the bat who my letters are to, so I might not do that. Maybe I'll just write letters to everyone and everything I feel like writing to. Maybe that'd be a good way to help me vent.
Maybe, just maybe, I say maybe too much.
Have you ever thought about that, how often people say maybe?
"Do you wanna hang out Friday?" "Maybe."
"Should I wear this dress?" "Maybe."
"Are you ever gonna move back to Kansas?" "Maybe."
I think it's sad, because we need to define things more in life, rather than let it be so ambiguous. I'm not even sure if that was correct usage of the word ambiguous.. Oh well. Then again, my need for definition could be just me, because I think I'm a bit of a 'black-and-white' person.
Yeah, I see the world in color, thankfully.
However, I've found that I think I need to have things defined in black and white terms, so that one thing is this and one thing is that and there is no middle ground.
No fence-sitters, as Barron used to say.
Man, I miss him.
I've been thinking a lot lately... Been reading the Hunger Games, a pretty thought-provoking set of books. I've also been staying up ridiculously late, because I have no life, (and was waiting for You Know Who to text me back. He never did.) and there's not much to do that late when you can't hack the Internet, your phone is useless cause it has no service, and your iPod is dead. Sad. I lead a sad life.
Oh well, on to a COMPLETELY different note!
So, Abby and I went to The Farm today.
The Farm is Papa Decker's old farmhouse and surrounding buildings and fields and such, which has been in our family since the Dark Ages (When Grandpa was born.). So anyway, the whole stead (is that correct?) is pretty dilapidated.
Abby and I started out in the Farmhouse, nothing interesting there.
OH wait! First, we went to this burned out house that has been slowly collapsing for about four years now, and we've never been allowed to go inside till this year. It was amazing. I'll find a way to upload the pictures I took, cause it's pretty freaking creepy up in that mug. ;) (Shout out to Mel and Beth)
Then back at The Farm. I climbed the wall inside the barn just to open a window. I fell backwards onto the haybales, tipped them over, and got hay all up in my pants... To top things off, I couldn't close the window cause of my bad elbow. Smh.
We made a fort in a little island thingy that was bordered by a spring-fed creek (Nay, you would LOVE this place. I promise to take you sometime.) and I walked on the ice. It was pretty beast.
We adventured lots of places... I also drove a 4-wheeler, which was... well, it went well.
(Backstory- I hadn't driven a 4-wheeler since 2 years ago, when I flipped one and pinned myself between a fence and the vehicle. Cut the back of my leg, hurt my wrist, and traumatized myself pretty badly. Since then, I've been deathly afraid of driving the blasted contraptions and won't go near them.)
So my driving the Arctic Cat today was pretty monumental. I didn't wreck, and Papa said I was a great driver... I see much more driving in my future.
Speaking of driving!
I drove a truck today. :)
Yeah I know, all ya'll up in Kansas have been driving for a while now, cause the Kansas laws are cool and Texas sucks and doesn't let us get permits till we're 15. But I drove, and was only told to slow down 3 times. :D Emma, you were right. I am a crazy driver. I yell a lot.
This concludes my regular synopsis thingy..
I love you guys very much.
Stay sexy.
I'm also censoring your name to protect your identity, because I know that if I didn't, your secret identity would be given away and the FBI would be onto you like white on rice. ;)
Now then.
So I've been thinking about this whole letter thing, and I bet those of you who know me (which is all of you, except the Russians and what-not. (: ) would be able to figure out right off the bat who my letters are to, so I might not do that. Maybe I'll just write letters to everyone and everything I feel like writing to. Maybe that'd be a good way to help me vent.
Maybe, just maybe, I say maybe too much.
Have you ever thought about that, how often people say maybe?
"Do you wanna hang out Friday?" "Maybe."
"Should I wear this dress?" "Maybe."
"Are you ever gonna move back to Kansas?" "Maybe."
I think it's sad, because we need to define things more in life, rather than let it be so ambiguous. I'm not even sure if that was correct usage of the word ambiguous.. Oh well. Then again, my need for definition could be just me, because I think I'm a bit of a 'black-and-white' person.
Yeah, I see the world in color, thankfully.
However, I've found that I think I need to have things defined in black and white terms, so that one thing is this and one thing is that and there is no middle ground.
No fence-sitters, as Barron used to say.
Man, I miss him.
I've been thinking a lot lately... Been reading the Hunger Games, a pretty thought-provoking set of books. I've also been staying up ridiculously late, because I have no life, (and was waiting for You Know Who to text me back. He never did.) and there's not much to do that late when you can't hack the Internet, your phone is useless cause it has no service, and your iPod is dead. Sad. I lead a sad life.
Oh well, on to a COMPLETELY different note!
So, Abby and I went to The Farm today.
The Farm is Papa Decker's old farmhouse and surrounding buildings and fields and such, which has been in our family since the Dark Ages (When Grandpa was born.). So anyway, the whole stead (is that correct?) is pretty dilapidated.
Abby and I started out in the Farmhouse, nothing interesting there.
OH wait! First, we went to this burned out house that has been slowly collapsing for about four years now, and we've never been allowed to go inside till this year. It was amazing. I'll find a way to upload the pictures I took, cause it's pretty freaking creepy up in that mug. ;) (Shout out to Mel and Beth)
Then back at The Farm. I climbed the wall inside the barn just to open a window. I fell backwards onto the haybales, tipped them over, and got hay all up in my pants... To top things off, I couldn't close the window cause of my bad elbow. Smh.
We made a fort in a little island thingy that was bordered by a spring-fed creek (Nay, you would LOVE this place. I promise to take you sometime.) and I walked on the ice. It was pretty beast.
We adventured lots of places... I also drove a 4-wheeler, which was... well, it went well.
(Backstory- I hadn't driven a 4-wheeler since 2 years ago, when I flipped one and pinned myself between a fence and the vehicle. Cut the back of my leg, hurt my wrist, and traumatized myself pretty badly. Since then, I've been deathly afraid of driving the blasted contraptions and won't go near them.)
So my driving the Arctic Cat today was pretty monumental. I didn't wreck, and Papa said I was a great driver... I see much more driving in my future.
Speaking of driving!
I drove a truck today. :)
Yeah I know, all ya'll up in Kansas have been driving for a while now, cause the Kansas laws are cool and Texas sucks and doesn't let us get permits till we're 15. But I drove, and was only told to slow down 3 times. :D Emma, you were right. I am a crazy driver. I yell a lot.
This concludes my regular synopsis thingy..
I love you guys very much.
Stay sexy.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Foreigners read my blog!
This will be a short post.
So I was checking out my blog stats today, and here are the pageview numbers by country:
US: 260
Russia: 60
Germany: 9
United Kingdom: 4
Malaysia: 2
Mexico: 1
To all my foreign friends, thank you so much for reading this. It means a lot to me, more than I can express by typing... Also, I apologize for spilling all my feelings to you guys, unless you want to hear that kind of thing. You're awesome, and to the 60 people in Russia; You guys rock! I know a guy who can speak Russian, he taught me how to say "sandwich". :)
To everyone else, you guys are amazing. I love you all.
Stay sexy.
PS: Is it offending to be called foreigners? Sorry if it is. I don't mean to offend.
So I was checking out my blog stats today, and here are the pageview numbers by country:
US: 260
Russia: 60
Germany: 9
United Kingdom: 4
Malaysia: 2
Mexico: 1
To all my foreign friends, thank you so much for reading this. It means a lot to me, more than I can express by typing... Also, I apologize for spilling all my feelings to you guys, unless you want to hear that kind of thing. You're awesome, and to the 60 people in Russia; You guys rock! I know a guy who can speak Russian, he taught me how to say "sandwich". :)
To everyone else, you guys are amazing. I love you all.
Stay sexy.
PS: Is it offending to be called foreigners? Sorry if it is. I don't mean to offend.
I married Batman.
I love people, man.
I just love them.
Hm. That aside, guess what! It's Sunday! And where am I? In the office, at HealthSouth Rehab, with my mom, eating sesame sticks for a very late breakfast. (Or early lunch.)
Wow, I'm a heathen. How humiliating.
I feel like posting pictures to my blog, to show all ya'll (YES I said it, live with it. <3) how things are down here, but I don't have any pictures of the things you guys wanna see, like me and Ty or me and Sam together. I don't even have a picture of Sam. Sad face.
Sam? Who is Sam? Yeah, Sam is...Sam. I just have nothing to say. (Haha, Mel and Beth, I bet you two enjoy this.)
Oh yeah, did I mention that I got married?
Yeah, I'm married with 61 kids. Here's my life story:
1- Marry Joey Robinson, who happens to be Batman. Sexy freaking beast of a husband. <3
2- Move to a 100-room-castle in Atlantis with my lovely hubby.
3- Adopt 60 kids and name all of them Raisins.
4- Have 1 child that is Joey and I's own flesh and blood, and name it Psedna.
5- Dedicate 97 rooms in our 100 room house to snuggling.
This is what Joey and I came up with after he proposed to me on New Year's Eve.
Ah, how time flies.
Not quite sure where I was going with this post, as I never really am. Someone should comment and tell me what you want to read... If you even read this thing I call a blog. Ah, teenage venting. What a life.
I suppose I'll go now, my children need me and my husband is making me a sandwich.
Stay sexy, guys.
I just love them.
Hm. That aside, guess what! It's Sunday! And where am I? In the office, at HealthSouth Rehab, with my mom, eating sesame sticks for a very late breakfast. (Or early lunch.)
Wow, I'm a heathen. How humiliating.
I feel like posting pictures to my blog, to show all ya'll (YES I said it, live with it. <3) how things are down here, but I don't have any pictures of the things you guys wanna see, like me and Ty or me and Sam together. I don't even have a picture of Sam. Sad face.
Sam? Who is Sam? Yeah, Sam is...Sam. I just have nothing to say. (Haha, Mel and Beth, I bet you two enjoy this.)
Oh yeah, did I mention that I got married?
Yeah, I'm married with 61 kids. Here's my life story:
1- Marry Joey Robinson, who happens to be Batman. Sexy freaking beast of a husband. <3
2- Move to a 100-room-castle in Atlantis with my lovely hubby.
3- Adopt 60 kids and name all of them Raisins.
4- Have 1 child that is Joey and I's own flesh and blood, and name it Psedna.
5- Dedicate 97 rooms in our 100 room house to snuggling.
This is what Joey and I came up with after he proposed to me on New Year's Eve.
Ah, how time flies.
Not quite sure where I was going with this post, as I never really am. Someone should comment and tell me what you want to read... If you even read this thing I call a blog. Ah, teenage venting. What a life.
I suppose I'll go now, my children need me and my husband is making me a sandwich.
Stay sexy, guys.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
The regular Synopsis.
Well, welcome back.
Here's to a new year, new opportunities, new trials, and new adventures.
Especially adventures, I'm good at those.
Today, as I lay on my bed eating contraband jelly-beans, I'm wondering how everybody is... Emma and Jade, you two need to make blogs. Just saying. Bethani and Melodie and Nay, even though I see you guys basically every day, post on these blogs you created! Hm. That's enough of me being all edjimicated and trying to talk like Nay...
So, shall we get back into the routine where I give you a synopsis of my week? I mean, since nobody's suggested I do anything different, I guess that's what I'll do.
(Side note- Has anybody noticed that I've started capitalizing my "i's" now? I'm so proud of myself. :) )
So uh Monday. Didn't go to school. WHUT. :D
Tuesday. Went to school. Hated it. Took a nap.
Wednesday. Went to school. Took a nap during Geography. Went to FivEleven and got picked up by my ankles, thrown backwards off a couch, and thrown upside down over someone's shoulder (Not necessarily in that order.) Took a nap at home. Made soapapilla cheesecake for Spanish.
Thursday. Took a B12 before school to energize me and survived pretty well. Talked to Sam at lunch (though I suppose I did that every day this week... (: ) Made fun of a low-budget film during Spanish and ate lots of food. Tasty.
Friday. Took another B12...I love them. Don't worry, they're legal and prescribed and stuff. I'm not a pill-popping druggie, thank you very much. Lunch... Ah, lunch. That and after school are basically the only parts of Friday I remember. However, if you were around me at all yesterday, you know all about lunch. Hehe. For the sake of those who don't....Well... I give up, ask someone who does. All I have to say is that Sam is pretty smooth. And cute. And funny. Yep.
Saturday... Oh wait, that's today. Yeah, I cleaned my room and bathroom. I have 23 and 1/2 pairs of shoes exactly. (I only have 1 blue high heel. The other one is probably in Kansas.) I'm going to Plato's later and then probably to Hot Topic because I am in need of some black skinnies. (Like Sam's, I might add.) Then (if my mother complies) to Kat's tonight! :D Exciting stuff guys, exciting stuff.
Well, that was my regular synopsis and such. I love you ALL.
Stay sexy.
Here's to a new year, new opportunities, new trials, and new adventures.
Especially adventures, I'm good at those.
Today, as I lay on my bed eating contraband jelly-beans, I'm wondering how everybody is... Emma and Jade, you two need to make blogs. Just saying. Bethani and Melodie and Nay, even though I see you guys basically every day, post on these blogs you created! Hm. That's enough of me being all edjimicated and trying to talk like Nay...
So, shall we get back into the routine where I give you a synopsis of my week? I mean, since nobody's suggested I do anything different, I guess that's what I'll do.
(Side note- Has anybody noticed that I've started capitalizing my "i's" now? I'm so proud of myself. :) )
So uh Monday. Didn't go to school. WHUT. :D
Tuesday. Went to school. Hated it. Took a nap.
Wednesday. Went to school. Took a nap during Geography. Went to FivEleven and got picked up by my ankles, thrown backwards off a couch, and thrown upside down over someone's shoulder (Not necessarily in that order.) Took a nap at home. Made soapapilla cheesecake for Spanish.
Thursday. Took a B12 before school to energize me and survived pretty well. Talked to Sam at lunch (though I suppose I did that every day this week... (: ) Made fun of a low-budget film during Spanish and ate lots of food. Tasty.
Friday. Took another B12...I love them. Don't worry, they're legal and prescribed and stuff. I'm not a pill-popping druggie, thank you very much. Lunch... Ah, lunch. That and after school are basically the only parts of Friday I remember. However, if you were around me at all yesterday, you know all about lunch. Hehe. For the sake of those who don't....Well... I give up, ask someone who does. All I have to say is that Sam is pretty smooth. And cute. And funny. Yep.
Saturday... Oh wait, that's today. Yeah, I cleaned my room and bathroom. I have 23 and 1/2 pairs of shoes exactly. (I only have 1 blue high heel. The other one is probably in Kansas.) I'm going to Plato's later and then probably to Hot Topic because I am in need of some black skinnies. (Like Sam's, I might add.) Then (if my mother complies) to Kat's tonight! :D Exciting stuff guys, exciting stuff.
Well, that was my regular synopsis and such. I love you ALL.
Stay sexy.
Monday, January 2, 2012
An attempt at being philosophical.
I feel the need to write some deeply thought-provoking post, but I woke up at 11:45 and haven't really had any deep thoughts today. In fact, my deepest thought (that I recall) has been deciding if my outfit for school tomorrow is cute, scene, or just weird. I'm gonna hope for cute and scene.
Aside from that, I haven't thought really. Cartoons can do that to a person.
Oh, wait! Here comes a thought.
Ever noticed how I have this need for 'adventure'? Even if it's nothing, it's "the thought that counts," like I always say.
Aside from that, I haven't thought really. Cartoons can do that to a person.
Oh, wait! Here comes a thought.
Ever noticed how I have this need for 'adventure'? Even if it's nothing, it's "the thought that counts," like I always say.
Take, for example, Nay and I's rendezvous on the golf course at 10pm by my house, which consisted of us running around with flashlights and dancing to techno and pop music, exploring the woods, and climbing a tree to hide golf balls in. Or, Katie and I's long walk to the abandoned industrial section of town, finding a discarded cell phone, putting it together, freaking out and running away from it. Or perhaps Emma and I wandering around in the 'Rage Etc' building until we got scared and left. (Yeah, all of those happened, and yeah, I remember all of them.)
Even if none of those were, by any means, 'real adventures,' they were still fun and it was the little adrenaline rush of doing something we're not really supposed to that made them 'adventurous.' I think it's a basic need of everyone to do something like that; go do something stupid, even if it's simply for the sake of being able to say you did it.
Is that just a basic need for everyone, or is it only me?
It wouldn't surprise me, but I know Nay is the same way. Maybe it's just a twin thing.
Even if none of those were, by any means, 'real adventures,' they were still fun and it was the little adrenaline rush of doing something we're not really supposed to that made them 'adventurous.' I think it's a basic need of everyone to do something like that; go do something stupid, even if it's simply for the sake of being able to say you did it.
Is that just a basic need for everyone, or is it only me?
It wouldn't surprise me, but I know Nay is the same way. Maybe it's just a twin thing.
I'm not exactly sure what I was attempting to create by writing this post... Haha, I suppose it was an adventure. Wow, I'm a geek.
Ah well. Love you guys. Stay sexy.
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A little Doctor Who.
