So i just visited my friend Bethani's blog (Just Dance) :) i would post a link but i haven't figured that out yet.
And anyway, now i feel like a HEATHEN. She's so bold-just saying random stuff about God on her blog.
It's a shame that someone as crazy and out-there as me is afraid of being as bold as Bethani, simply because i'm afraid of rejection. [Now i'm doing what she did-pouring out feelings to a computer screen. Great.] I hate this- I'm a great on-fire person for Him at youth and church, but put me back in the real world and i'm as bad as everyone else. There are times when i wonder why I'm even a Christian- Why would God want to use someone like me- someone so two-faced? I guess i need to start hanging with a better crowd, but my group of friends is sort of mixed. We have the goth, the creepy Ginger, the chubby Jesus-freak, the tall shy guy, the fluffy-haired Mexican, the Asian, the Emo, the other Emo, and...
ohyeah, EMO. I meant to post something about Emos. So today at lunch, we somehow got on the subject of Emos and where they cut. The Goth proceeded to say something about how some Emos cut on their legs, and the Ginger was like "EW! Why would anyone cut themselves?" It made me feel bad. This subject has come up at lunch before, and I usually do my best to change the subject. If you know me at all, you know that i cut myself on occasion. (Back to the Christian thing- HOW can God use a cutter?) But yeah. It's part of the reason i'm worried about wearing a short-short dress to the Homecoming dance- because i don't want anyone to see my scars and ask questions.
I'll continue the rest in a new post, this is too long.
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